Journey

Found a CD with a copy of my first writings. Thought I’d just copy a couple of the notes here for record before I destroy them in a bonfire lol.

This letter was talking about the jobs I’d had over the past 2 years at that particular time in my life:

With all the jobs I’ve had over the years, the hotel was the best one to work for. I worked at the Provincial Hotel, we had barely any staff, and got paid real shitty wages, but the people who owned it were soooo sooo nice, and we would do anything for them if they asked today. They treated us like we were their family, I even went to their farm (which is like 6 hours away or so), and stayed there for a week with their son, it was soo cool. Anyway, then they sold the pub to Bob. Bob is a business man, he wasn’t going to keep any of the staff on, because he didn’t think we could cope once it got busy, and we proved him wrong. I trained all the new staff, got a full time job there, moved in, worked all his crappy shifts, and got really close to them too.

Provincial Hotel Staff
– Shelly, Chef, Jodie, Bob, and Me

Then I got a job working for the Ballarat City Council.. as a researcher, that was also underpaid, but it was the most interesting job I think I will ever have. Since it was only a temporary full time job (6 months), we were all looking for work at the same time. I was still working and living at the pub at the start, then I moved in with Lisa. Mainly to be able to sing and to be able to get away with seeing this guy I was seeing who also worked at the pub, and is one of the reasons why I don’t go there anymore.

Anyway, I found a job that you travel around Australia, and eventually around the world, selling a cleaning product called “Komplete Klean” door-to-door. I left everything, my new flat, my 2 jobs, my friends and family, just so that I could see the world, I convinced a friend (Tania) on the morning I was leaving (about 9am), to come with me. It was just 3 of us that left, me, Tania, and Michael (the boss). We left in a shitty old van, full of cleaning products and suitcases. There were apparently more of us meeting us up there later that week.

Well, Tania lasted 4 days I think, before she rang up her boyfriend to come pick her up, she didn’t tell me until 5 minutes before he arrived that she was ditching us & if I had’ve known, I would of packed up my things and gone with her. hehe. We couldn’t sell for shit, we started at 8am in the morning. He’d drop us off in a town we didn’t know, and we’d have to walk around by ourselves and door knock to demonstrate this product.. it totally sucked. We were walking around by ourselves, in the freezing cold, raining, not wanting to knock on people’s doors at 8am in the morning, because we knew they’d be shitty (we would be too if someone did that to us). We would do that all day, and I was getting really depressed, it was just me and the boss in a small town, where I knew no one. I had my mobile phone, so I would ring my boyfriend (who lived in Perth, Western Australia), and my mum, and just cry. I think I was really frustrated that it wasn’t selling, and that the people were really mean to ‘door-to-door sales people’, it really took a hunk out of my self-confidence, from being a bartender (all the attention, and admiration of everyone), to being a piece of shit on the street selling cleaning products. I just wanted to travel, and I thought that was the way of doing it. The town had great pubs and nightclubs, I just got totally off my face and went out and had fun… met the coolest people, and it totally rocked. But then, the weekend would end, and it would be another week of total depression.

The boss decided we weren’t making enough money to have separate bedrooms anymore, let alone pay me for my week of work (we were all supposed to get 2 weeks wage first, before getting money on what we sold). So, he moved into my room (separate beds, but still no privacy). I had no idea what was going on, and it totally freaked me out. Anyway, after a few nights later, he dropped me off in the middle of nowhere at 8am in the morning, and it was sooo cold, and I was sitting under a tree waiting for the rain to stop, so that I could walk around, and I thought, “fuck it”, I’m not going to make money, I am not happy, this fucking sucks. So, I rang up my sister, (Prue), and she said she could pick me up.. though it would take her 4 hours to get here, and she had to do some things first. So, I walked back to town, and got lost a few times on the way. I got back to the pub, finally, after a few long hours of walking… and I packed up my things as quickly as I could… and then I dragged all my stuff, one by one to the next pub about 3 blocks down. I did one bag at a time.. a few people felt sorry for me, so they helped me carry them (thankfully, hehe, cos they were really, really heavy). Anyway, I had, $3.00 to my name, so I sat down, and bought myself a beer, and talked to the people that were on the bar about being a door-to-door salesperson, and the shit you get for it.. and made them promise to be nice to all the ones out there.. hehe.

Then, I rang the boss on the phone, and told him that I wanted out, and he said, ok, I’ll pick you up, and I said, that I had already walked back to town, and packed my things, and that I was at the other hotel. He said, ok, I’ll be there soon. I was shitting myself, hehe, I thought he’d be really angry, but I guess he has had a lot of people try and fail… anyway, he didn’t show up. My sister and my friend showed up, and so we all went looking for him (he owed me money). He was at the hotel, we went there, and he said, I can only give you $50.00 as the money hasn’t gone through yet (yeah right), anyway, I just wanted out, so I took the money and left.

On the drive home… we got some alcohol, I was sooo happy to be leaving, we all had the music up flat out, and were singing and carrying on, then I got a phone call. So, I am laughing away answering the phone, and it was a guy named Geoff Curry, saying that he had been trying to contact me for weeks.. & said, that I had got a job.. I still had no idea who this guy was, anyway, so I am carrying on about this job, saying that I had just quit this ‘shitty’ job, etc, and laughing. And then he said he was from “Dimension Computing” .. ack! the job I went for but thought I’d never hear from. hehe So, he asked if I would come in for an interview, and I said, yes, but give me a couple of days to settle down.

So, I went in there, had the interview, which was in front of the 2 major bosses, and a secretary/accounts person. It was the worst interview, I was too nervous. So, I thought I wouldn’t get it.. no way, am I going to get this job. They told me that they would ring me later on that week to come in for a second interview, maybe. Well, I was wrong, and they rang me that night saying that I can start as soon as I want. Which gave me this huge confidence boost (just when I needed it).

I got the weekends back working at the pub, and I was working 5 days a week, sometimes 6 at dimension.. so I moved into this small dump (and when I say dump, I mean dump) hehe.. with a girl who just started at the pub. She was really rough, she had gone bankrupt, and she was dealing drugs out to everyone out of the house, it totally sucked. Her and I really got along though, everything she said made sense to me, and everything I said made sense to her, her name was Candice. Her little brother moved in … and he was a real pain in the ass, then she got a boyfriend that was flatout into taking speed, so he was sort of always there.. therefore, so were his druggo mates. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with drug takers, but for me, there is something wrong if you can’t handle what you intake, and that includes small stuff from alcohol – marijuana, to speed – heroin etc.

I personally will never try speed, or heroin, or anything like that.. god knows I don’t need to be addicted to anything else, and us pisceans become addicted to almost anything we touch ;) hehe. I used to smoke marijuana, I had a boyfriend in a band who lived in Melbourne, who used to come down to see me, and I used to make him promise that he wouldn’t have speed while visiting me, his excuse for taking it in the first place, was the fact that he had to be awake for the gigs.. that never stopped… they should’ve became famous, but I guess they never will, and I will forever blame it on the drugs :) Well, I guess only time will tell with that one, but he won’t become famous, apparently a few weeks after we broke up, he had a motorbike accident which stuffed up his hand.. (he was a guitarist)… so he had to quit the band.

I used to smoke marijuana, when we were in a gang type group thing.. we use the word gang in this town differently as they would use it there, or in the larger cities, the context that I am using it, is that of a group of friends and non-friends that would do everything together, in fact, this is probably the only time in my life (since I got the computer), that I haven’t had a “gang”…. though the friends we’ve had for the last, god – ack, 6 years, hehe, still hang around together and hang out with my sister, so I guess we still do hang out, even though I don’t go out with them as much anymore. I quit marijuana the day that they begged me to try the speed that they had just recently got addicted to.

I am still positive that everything I want, I can have.. and that no dream is “impossible”.. everything everybody said I couldn’t do, I’ve done regardless, I don’t listen to people who put other people down. They are just hiding themselves. I listen to commonsense, and I listen to my dreams.

I love learning so much, you ask me if I don’t know something, and if I don’t know it, I want to find out! hehe, I’m mad. There are so many things I want to do, and learn, eg: programming, learn guitar, doing html with my eyes closed, hehe, that kinda thing.. the 2 main things in my life, that I want to keep there, is computing and singing.