Journey

Seeing myself through other people’s eyes is just horrible, and now observing that I am currently moving through life without trusting anyone, even myself.
Blab about today’s 2 x Synchronicities; a gift from a stranger and meetup.com then back to a ramble about trust; the misunderstanding is so big. My “point of view” at the time, vs how I see myself through their eyes. Seeing people as souls and treating them as if they are their higher-selves is not safe. But I hate just seeing myself & others as this restrictive human shell. How to get back to that spiritual view and keep harmony with mainstream humans? Is it possible to have a balance between the 2 different versions of seeing reality? I don’t know what to do but I hate it here… but here is safer than crazy. Why do I care what other people think of me when they are out to harm me anyway. My higher self is screaming for me to merge again but human me is saying “no way.. look what happened to you last time”. I don’t want to be crazy but I miss being crazy!