Journey

Dream Exploring – got to see a pattern of “abandonment” issues repeating in relationships I’ve never seen before. Driving to Vietnamese breakfast. Everything could come down to this core underlying trauma. Ramble, ramble, ramble about the human fears, and seeing all personal development, self-help, religious and spiritual programmes are here to help people with these core issues. When you feel loved by life, it fills a hollow-space, and you don’t feel “abandoned” by life. Find the original trauma and re-tune it into what’s more true rather than my immature/negative/fearful version of it at a younger age. Exploring different cultures. Don’t want to focus on the negative but don’t want to bury or suppress it so that it comes up again when I don’t want it to. I feel like when you’re helping others, you feel fulfilled. Feel like I’ve been on right track by wanting to align with the authenticness of my heart. Maybe because I spent 3 years in a game – strategizing my army – that my brain might work differently than others because I see how we can change society. Even in this area – the businesses had their families, their community as part of their daily work-life. How can we work on our core issues so that we’re capable of being all we came here to be. I still expect better of myself, so even though I feel like I’ve “done the work”, I look at my videos and learn that I have “un-ideal” beliefs to work on. My videos are not ideal for how I ‘represent myself to the world’, showing your vulnerabilities and being prepared to show your weaknesses in public is not an ideal avatar for this world, the last thing you want to do is mis-represent yourself as a weak & vulnerable individual in a world that needs you to be strong & capable. I want to have awareness “of” my weaknesses & strengths and use my time wisely while I’m driving – by listening to other people’s wisdom or by exploring my inner-world. It is what it is for this cycle and what I’m doing right now for my own “inner-work”.