Journey

Original (Longer) version

Jumping in on the discussion you guys are having. :)

I have a head-cold right now so I’m probably a bit delirious and out of it, but I still wanted to put in my 2 cents in & have a conversation with you guys about what beliefs are serving me and why I think the way I do about certain topics, and exploring the possibility that I could be crazy :)

Also – my laptop crapped-out on the software that I used and stuffed up all the audio and then I had to try and match up the audio with my mouth which was a ridiculous waste of time and energy and made the video look out of whack but I did the best I could given that my laptop wasn’t playing nice :)

Links mentioned in Video:

• 1 Giant Leap Documentary
• The Shamanic View of Mental Illness
• Oprah: Growing Up Intersex 
• Kids Reincarnation Stories 

Topics: Reincarnation, Religion, Trauma, Gender, Depression & Insanity

Rough Transcript:

I have a head-cold so I should probably wait until I have a clear mind before I talk about this stuff, but I feel like talking about it now so – to get out my thoughts .. and so I apologize in advance if my mind is all over the place today but I still wanted to create this video anyway that brings a lot of what people have been talking about with me recently – together. To join the conversation and discussion. So thanks to Jimmy for bringing up reincarnation, a Facebook friend for bringing up Transgender & sexual orientation, a work colleague from bringing up religion & atheism, a Youtuber for bringing to mind my passion to serve and do the greatest good for humanity, and for the Youtube videos I recently watched about spirituality, depression, and suffering – all of them combined to allow me to think about and explore my current perspectives about race, gender, conjoined twins, people born with extra body parts, colour, sex, religion and so on.. in the one video. That all sounds like a fun topic to explore… although I can’t promise my scattered mind will be able to get out my thoughts clearly on this.

Here’s the thing.. because of my journey.. I might be completely screwed up in my thinking. As in, I may of conjured up these beliefs because they are a way for me to deal with trauma. They may not be truth, just the beliefs that I have currently taken on to serve me at this time. And I think that’s the same for most others as well. We can share what we believe is our truth, but reality could be that our truths may not be truth for all but just a belief that has formed to get us through a certain stage in our lives. That’s why I’m always questioning my own beliefs and examining yours. It’s because I don’t think we can know the truth from our perspective, but some things, some realities feel “right” for this time.

The nutshell version from my current perspective is that nothing is an accident and that we are all here as part of the one conscious – the ego being used to separate us into separate identities so that we can explore, experience, learn, grow. That our greater perspective beyond this life is a thirst for creation and exploration, to understand all perspectives of being human. That we are drops from the same ocean .. and I love this quote from a song in a documentary I heard last week: We are all Flowers from the same garden. That the only separateness we have is this unique desire to have these separate experiences in order to really explore. And that if this is true.. that once you can see us all as one, it changes your perspective on everything. It changes the game. It moves you to a new level in this game.

This feels right for me, but did I just take it on because it feels “better” than what the truth might be? And I guess my point is.. that it doesn’t matter what I believe, what any of us believe as long as we are not harming others in the process. And the word harming is very subjective anyway.. words can harm others.

But anyway, for a time I explored the idea that nothing is a mistake.. that we chose this experience to experience and we can consciously choose to create different experiences if we don’t like the way things are going, we can evolve beyond what we think was “done to us” and embrace the experience and use it to transform our lives.

This thought is great to explore because it gives people a reason to live, a divine purpose.

I don’t know if that is just a thought that depressed people get.. to move them past their depression. It does seem like a lot of spiritual people had their awakening from being in a very dark place once. I guess that’s why I am constantly questioning my own beliefs, not really fixated on certain beliefs as total truth – not only because we are just tiny little ants that can’t see the big picture, but that am I just using these creative beliefs – did I just choose to have this belief.. to get me out of the darkness… to serve me at this time.. or what is truth, really? But does it create a better life for me? Yes.. but I’m still a truth-seeker.. still wanting to delve deeper and explore more.

For instance… I haven’t really got into the whole past lives and reincarnation stuff.. I’m not sure what I believe about that because I do have a very logical mind.. one that is constantly questioning my own beliefs and the beliefs of others – always trying to understand and figure things out. I know that we don’t know much from our current perspective – that we can’t see the magnitude of what is from our current viewpoint.

I have friends that have got into the whole past life things though and I wonder what they really get out of it..like, even if it is true.. what does it matter if you know what you were doing in your past life.. unless it can benefit you in the here and now.. all I think it does is give some people something to blame for their current situation .. to make excuses for why they are who they are instead of working on growing themselves now. So yeah.. it’s a topic that I generally avoid because I don’t see a benefit to the current life.

However, I do tend to play with the idea that we chose this experience – that perspective is fascinating to me… like I really like that idea for some reason.. because it helps you put pieces of the puzzle together. When I held that belief it really did serve me & get me through some really outrageous life challenges… but as I just said.. I’m still not sold on the whole idea.. I still get new insights and perspectives on a daily basis.. everytime I wake up after I’ve voiced my truth.. I get new perspectives coming in. Always delving deeper from questioning my own beliefs and voicing my truth at any current time, but I still want to explore this idea while it still holds some kind of truth within me because then tomorrow I’ll get some new way of looking at it which I’m really looking forward to. So even though I have no idea if it’s right or not.. I do like this belief that there are no accidents or mistakes, that we chose to experience this particular experience “this time around” and that we should be embracing our unique perspectives and using it because that’s what we are here for.

I really like it when I am thinking this way.. it kind of makes us all want to experience our uniqueness fully. That would mean we chose to have 4 legs or arms, be deaf or blind, be a particular gender or even choose to have both male & female genitals or be female with male genitals or male with female genitals, be this colour, be born into that religion or culture, be born into a abusive family, find ourselves in certain situations we couldn’t of imagined, or be born with a particular difference that would make us perceive and have experiences in this world differently than others – for knowledge, for experience, for the adventure of it… that beyond this perspective, beyond this universe – that this dimension – that this choosing a human body to experience different things – is where we have the most growth – and sometimes I try to justify these beliefs that even if I’m wrong (like – even if we only have this one lifetime)… that at the very least – we should embrace our uniqueness.. our unique challenges.. our unique experiences, and learn, grow and share from that perspective for all of us to evolve – for current & future generations to learn and expand from. That goes along also with my thinking that we are all on our own journey even if we are all part of the one source.

Let’s start with people who are born with extra limbs. In India if a girl or boy is born with 8 limbs.. they are worshipped like Gods. Treated like miracle babies. Worshipped by thousands. And treated as special. If someone is born with extra limbs here in the Western world, they are considered deformed, and disgusting. Just a different perspective.

Girls born with a penis. Man I have envy over that one. In fact, if there is such a thing as reincarnation… I want to come back like this. They have the Best of both worlds! They are truly special and only society makes it abnormal and crass. I think it’s sad that there are people with these special unique characteristics that feel like they don’t fit in anywhere because of what society has conditioned us to believe. Nothing is a mistake. Everything is as it should be. And then society screws it up with it’s conformity idealism. And actually it’s not as uncommon as society would have you to believe… there’s just so much social fear surrounding it that noone talks about it, they keep it private. You are probably friends with a guy that has a girl parts or a girl that has boy parts and some people are born with both, or have two wombs, or have neither. Apparently 1 in 2000 births have confusing genders where the doctors don’t have a clear idea whether you are male or female. Something to think about.

Race, Religion, and Culture. What if you decided to experience what it’s like to be a Muslim or Christian or atheist or Hindu or black, brown, white.. this culture, that culture.. this part of the world, those particular parents, that particular lifestyle… prior to being born. What if that is also no accident? That you chose to experience this lifetime in a particular culture or lifestyle.

I do find it fascinating to watch documentaries on reincarnation. Like those young kids that have all these memories of lifetimes that they couldn’t know about, that know languages they have never been exposed to, that know people that they have never met and so on. That does give rise to a few different ideas though. It doesn’t mean they have been reincarnated. It doesn’t mean that there are past lives and so on. Although it could – we don’t know. It could also mean that these individuals are able to “tap into” certain frequencies where they can download that information. I’ve had an experience last year that I will attempt explain one day, where for lack of a better term, I downloaded a lot of information that I cannot comprehend enough to verbalize when I am alert. So maybe these kids have been born again, maybe they actually lived these other lives – that is pretty cool if they did, but maybe they are also able to “download” that information. Or maybe they have psychic abilities. Or maybe they are just good story tellers.

I’m open to all different possibilities. Because I realize that we don’t know much from our perspectives… but it does open up a bunch of possibilities.